Re-Emerging From the Void of a Relentless Hustle
I've Written This Post a Thousand Times...In My Head.
I’m sitting on the sofa watching the Spain vs Belgium World Cup game and wondering if I’m even built for this hustle anymore. So much has changed since we last spoke.
Cutesy tidbits about what I’m sitting on won’t do justice for the lifetimes I’ve lived in the last 18 months. I got my Masters and am in the midst of a doctorate program. I’m planning a move for August but I don’t know where. I lost my grandma. I got a 14 year old Papilion. I regained most of the weight I had lost but I got officially certified as a NYC DOE teacher.
The wins are etched with blemishes that try to manufacture perspective, as if I needed the reminder.
They say the devil is in the details but where he really needs to be is at a Kentucky hospital. We go through these transitions, or as I’ve come to call “reroutes.” It’s like with GPS, where instead of shaming you for going the wrong way, it simply says rerouting. I’m watching these football fans unapologetically express their passion for the sport and national teams and wondering what about me?
What am I passionate about? What am I willing to travel across the world for?
And on the flip side, who is passionate enough about me that they would launch a thousand ships to stare at my resting bitch face?
Life doesn’t take a break. It continue through exhaustion, joy, and loss. So instead of a cliche life update recap, I’ll just reconnect and slowly reintegrate myself into this digital landscape. I don’t want to force fake engagement for the sake of it.
’ve accepted that I’ll never be ready to reshare my world because the longer I wait, the smaller my world gets until eventually I am the only one in it.